When you believe that you are better or even worse than somebody else, then the ego is born. A newborn child does not have an ego because he/she doesn't know it self. The child has no idea who or what it is at the moment of birth. All it knows is something is strange and doesn't seem normal.
As the child grows and learns it has a name and other people (mother, father, siblings, neighbors) have names too, it begins to develop an ego - a persona. There is nothing wrong with having an ego; we all have one, the problems is when it gets out of control.
Soon after birth values are developed. Values are what we consider important and necessary to live a "good" and "normal" life. Someone might consider an intimate relationship better than an acceptance relationship. Someone might consider that being an achiever is better than being competent and so on and so forth. There are thousands of variables when it comes to values and no particular set of values is necessarily better than another set. But the ego may think that there is.
When the ego gets larger than life it can turn into despair, bigotry, hate, anger, greed, lust, etc. and when it does it often becomes an obsession. This is what we have to be on the lookout for. We must be aware of the ego and its various manifestations.
Next post we take a look at some of these manifestations and what to do about them.
Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Overcoming the ego
If you are new to this post and you are interested in understanding yourself, I suggested that you start at the beginning by scrolling way down to the beginning of this discussion to Nov. 19, 2019, Observing Yourself Objectively. You will have to click on Older Posts at the bottom right on a few of the posts to get there. Also, please feel free to make comments and/or ask questions, I'll get back to you ASAP.
To overcome the ego doesn't mean getting rid of it; it means to become more than the ego. To be able to observe it, understand it, and not get caught up in it.
Observing the ego is a difficult process because it is an illusion and illusions can change from one form to another in a fraction of a second without realizing it. For example I was talking to a yoga student after class not long ago about how people tend to put labels on things. I mentioned to her that I watched Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey on their live telecast last night and how Tolle brought up a good suggestion on how to talk to children about the subject of staying in the moment. Tolle gave an example of how one might talk to a child about an oak tree. He said rather than simply telling the child "It is an oak tree," say something like, "It is called an oak tree," and then help the child look at the tree in an appreciative way by observing how the sun shines through the branches onto the leaves, the coolness of the shade it provides, the texture of the bark, and so on. By doing this rather than just putting a label on the tree and letting it go at that, the child can learn to observe and appreciate things for what they truly are. As I was talking to her, I felt truly in the moment, no ego, and no biases. I had no reason to feel better or worse than anybody else - I was just talking to her about the telecast. And then, for some reason, I said "But there really are radicals out there who want to do us harm." And then she said, "Don't you know you just labeled them?" It was truly a humbling experience to realize that I went from being non-biased to being biased with an ego in a mater of a second without realizing it. This is why practicing to observe the self and the ego is so very important. Practice helps us learn how the ego manifests itself and allows us to be on guard for it.
While talking to someone or writing to someone, reflect on what you are saying. How many times do you use the words "I", "me" or "my"; and when you do, is it for the purpose of making yourself look better than someone else? And when you speak about other people, do you have a tendency to make them look better or worse than yourself? This is what is means by observing the ego.
Also, see what happens to your ego once you begin talking less about yourself and saying more positive things about other people. How do you feel when you compliment somebody in their absence to another person? Pause and reflect upon the other person's reaction. Use the pause to your advantage in becoming more attuned to yourself and other people. What happens when you compliment someone personally? Do they smile or frown? How does that make you feel? How do you feel if someone compliments you? If you feel good why not make others feel good too? A compliment is a present that you give someone that doesn't cost anything. Do an experiment - see what you feel when you give the next person you see a compliment.
In the next post we will investigate what happens when the ego gets out of control. But for now I urge you to do the experiment.
To overcome the ego doesn't mean getting rid of it; it means to become more than the ego. To be able to observe it, understand it, and not get caught up in it.
Observing the ego is a difficult process because it is an illusion and illusions can change from one form to another in a fraction of a second without realizing it. For example I was talking to a yoga student after class not long ago about how people tend to put labels on things. I mentioned to her that I watched Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey on their live telecast last night and how Tolle brought up a good suggestion on how to talk to children about the subject of staying in the moment. Tolle gave an example of how one might talk to a child about an oak tree. He said rather than simply telling the child "It is an oak tree," say something like, "It is called an oak tree," and then help the child look at the tree in an appreciative way by observing how the sun shines through the branches onto the leaves, the coolness of the shade it provides, the texture of the bark, and so on. By doing this rather than just putting a label on the tree and letting it go at that, the child can learn to observe and appreciate things for what they truly are. As I was talking to her, I felt truly in the moment, no ego, and no biases. I had no reason to feel better or worse than anybody else - I was just talking to her about the telecast. And then, for some reason, I said "But there really are radicals out there who want to do us harm." And then she said, "Don't you know you just labeled them?" It was truly a humbling experience to realize that I went from being non-biased to being biased with an ego in a mater of a second without realizing it. This is why practicing to observe the self and the ego is so very important. Practice helps us learn how the ego manifests itself and allows us to be on guard for it.
While talking to someone or writing to someone, reflect on what you are saying. How many times do you use the words "I", "me" or "my"; and when you do, is it for the purpose of making yourself look better than someone else? And when you speak about other people, do you have a tendency to make them look better or worse than yourself? This is what is means by observing the ego.
Also, see what happens to your ego once you begin talking less about yourself and saying more positive things about other people. How do you feel when you compliment somebody in their absence to another person? Pause and reflect upon the other person's reaction. Use the pause to your advantage in becoming more attuned to yourself and other people. What happens when you compliment someone personally? Do they smile or frown? How does that make you feel? How do you feel if someone compliments you? If you feel good why not make others feel good too? A compliment is a present that you give someone that doesn't cost anything. Do an experiment - see what you feel when you give the next person you see a compliment.
In the next post we will investigate what happens when the ego gets out of control. But for now I urge you to do the experiment.
Saturday, January 18, 2020
The self and the ego
In the last post I talked about the self, that thing we think who and what we are. All of our values and feelings born from innate and natural experiences in life. Is that who we are? When someone asks you who you are, how do you answer?
You developed your own personal mandala in the last post which depicts your values and feelings. Maybe, like me, you value being important, achieving things and being accepted for who you are. Maybe you like having peace of mind and fear being helpless. Whatever the case may be, that is not the same thing as the ego.
The ego has everything to do with comparing one's self with others. In order to feel good or bad, as far as an ego is concerned, someone has to be "better" or "worse" than someone else. When we talk about the ego, we are in effect talking about what we believe to be true about our self - our mandala; the self. Notice I said "what we believe to be true about our self."
When you believe that you are the self that is when you start having an ego. When you believe that you are your name and everything that does with it you become attached to the self, and the self needs recognition and confirmation from that point on. The ego constantly strives to prove that it is separate from the rest of the world.
In the next post we will take a look at how to overcome the ego.
You developed your own personal mandala in the last post which depicts your values and feelings. Maybe, like me, you value being important, achieving things and being accepted for who you are. Maybe you like having peace of mind and fear being helpless. Whatever the case may be, that is not the same thing as the ego.
The ego has everything to do with comparing one's self with others. In order to feel good or bad, as far as an ego is concerned, someone has to be "better" or "worse" than someone else. When we talk about the ego, we are in effect talking about what we believe to be true about our self - our mandala; the self. Notice I said "what we believe to be true about our self."
When you believe that you are the self that is when you start having an ego. When you believe that you are your name and everything that does with it you become attached to the self, and the self needs recognition and confirmation from that point on. The ego constantly strives to prove that it is separate from the rest of the world.
In the next post we will take a look at how to overcome the ego.
Friday, January 10, 2020
Go beyond your self
Remember, your self is the way you are in life. It is basically your mandala that you developed in the last post. Your self consists of all your perceptions, desires, memories, judgments, and intellectual functioning (reasoning). The self is not the same thing as the ego. The self is simply all of your values and feelings.
Use your personal mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily life. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what your are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
Although we may look and act differently, in reality we are all the same: one and the same. We are much more than simply values and feelings. Complete realization that we are one with everything is a giant step that many people can't or don's want to make. Many of us can't reach down into our true nature because the conceptual mind continues to hold onto the image that we are separate from the world and everyone else.
When an incident happens such as an argument, a feeling of anxiety, joy, love, hatred, etc., look at your mandala and see how many of the petals on your mandala are being reflected. Do the same thing for ways you seek comfort, pleasure and relationships. The use of the mandala in becoming aware of your self is a crucial step toward pure awareness and being able to transcend the little self.
In the next post we will talk about how the self and the ego are related.
Use your personal mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily life. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what your are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
Although we may look and act differently, in reality we are all the same: one and the same. We are much more than simply values and feelings. Complete realization that we are one with everything is a giant step that many people can't or don's want to make. Many of us can't reach down into our true nature because the conceptual mind continues to hold onto the image that we are separate from the world and everyone else.
When an incident happens such as an argument, a feeling of anxiety, joy, love, hatred, etc., look at your mandala and see how many of the petals on your mandala are being reflected. Do the same thing for ways you seek comfort, pleasure and relationships. The use of the mandala in becoming aware of your self is a crucial step toward pure awareness and being able to transcend the little self.
In the next post we will talk about how the self and the ego are related.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Using your mandala
In the last post you developed your personal mandala that reflects your self - your values and feelings. This mandala consists of six petals which point to the outside world and beyond. No two of the six petals interlock, but are interrelated with one another. The central focus of the mandala is the person to whom you refer to as yourself. The labels that are attached to the petals prevent the spirit of the True Being from shining outward. As long as the central being is attached to any of the labels, total awareness is not possible. The task is to become unattached to the labels.
The self is who you think you are. In other words, it is all of those values and feelings that you have accumulated over the years of living on this planet. When you refer to yourself it is, almost always, the small self you are talking about. On the other hand, the Self (big "S") usually refers to that which is always present, formless, pure and unchanging. The big Self is also known as the witness.
Use your mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily activities. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what you are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
So, for the next few days use your mandala to reflect on your self and to study your self. Try to understand why you feel the way you do when certain situations happen. While you are doing this self study remember that it is not those outside happenings that create your feelings, your feelings are created by who you (small self) are.
Stay with your self study and on the next blog you will see how you can go beyond the little self and onto the more powerful big Self.
The self is who you think you are. In other words, it is all of those values and feelings that you have accumulated over the years of living on this planet. When you refer to yourself it is, almost always, the small self you are talking about. On the other hand, the Self (big "S") usually refers to that which is always present, formless, pure and unchanging. The big Self is also known as the witness.
Use your mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily activities. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what you are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
So, for the next few days use your mandala to reflect on your self and to study your self. Try to understand why you feel the way you do when certain situations happen. While you are doing this self study remember that it is not those outside happenings that create your feelings, your feelings are created by who you (small self) are.
Stay with your self study and on the next blog you will see how you can go beyond the little self and onto the more powerful big Self.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Form your own personal mandala
Up to this point you should have picked three values and three feelings that depict how you view yourself. These six indices make up your self (small "s"), the person whom you consider yourself. If you picked them with true conviction and honesty they will reflect how you react in everyday situations. In essence they are why you do what you do. Using these six indices you can put together your own personal mandala ('mun-du-la') and use it to become the witness of the self.
Your Personal Mandala
Put a check mark beside your values and feelings listed below..
Then write your values and feelings on the mandala provided below that. For example, if you picked aesthetics for the way you find pleasure, write aesthetics on the petal labeled pleasure. Write your name in the center of the mandala. The mandala represents your self.
Values Feelings
Way of Being Pleasure
___Unique ___Aesthetics
___Special ___Stimulation
___Importance ___Novelty
Relationships Comfort
___Belonging ___Relaxed
___Acceptance ___Security
___Intimacy ___Peace of Mind
Doing Fear
___Achievement ___Loneliness
___Competence ___Nothingness
___Control ___Helplessness
On the next post we will talk about how to use your mandala to understand why you do what you do and how it relates to your true Self.
Your Personal Mandala
Put a check mark beside your values and feelings listed below..
Then write your values and feelings on the mandala provided below that. For example, if you picked aesthetics for the way you find pleasure, write aesthetics on the petal labeled pleasure. Write your name in the center of the mandala. The mandala represents your self.
Values Feelings
Way of Being Pleasure
___Unique ___Aesthetics
___Special ___Stimulation
___Importance ___Novelty
Relationships Comfort
___Belonging ___Relaxed
___Acceptance ___Security
___Intimacy ___Peace of Mind
Doing Fear
___Achievement ___Loneliness
___Competence ___Nothingness
___Control ___Helplessness
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