Overcoming the ego

If you are new to this post and you are interested in understanding yourself, I suggested that you start at the beginning by scrolling way down to the beginning of this discussion to Nov. 19, 2019, Observing Yourself Objectively.  You will have to click on Older Posts at the bottom right on a few of the posts to get there. Also, please feel free to make comments and/or ask questions,  I'll get back to you ASAP.

To overcome the ego doesn't mean getting rid of it; it means to become more than the ego. To be able to observe it, understand it, and not get caught up in it.

Observing the ego is a difficult process because it is an illusion and illusions can change from one form to another in a fraction of a second without realizing it. For example I was talking to a yoga student after class not long ago about how people tend to put labels on things. I mentioned to her that I watched Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey on their live telecast last night and how Tolle brought up a good suggestion on how to talk to children about the subject of staying in the moment. Tolle gave an example of how one might talk to a child about an oak tree. He said rather than simply telling the child "It is an oak tree," say something like, "It is called an oak tree," and then help the child look at the tree in an appreciative way by observing how the sun shines through the branches onto the leaves, the coolness of the shade it provides, the texture of the bark, and so on. By doing this rather than just putting a label on the tree and letting it go at that, the child can learn to observe and appreciate things for what they truly are. As I was talking to her, I felt truly in the moment, no ego, and no biases. I had no reason to feel better or worse than anybody else - I was just talking to her about the telecast. And then, for some reason, I said "But there really are radicals out there who want to do us harm." And then she said, "Don't you know you just labeled them?" It was truly a humbling experience to realize that I went from being non-biased to being biased with an ego in a mater of a second without realizing it. This is why practicing to observe the self and the ego is so very important. Practice helps us learn how the ego manifests itself and allows us to be on guard for it.

While talking to someone or writing to someone, reflect on what you are saying. How many times do you use the words "I", "me" or "my"; and when you do, is it for the purpose of making yourself look better than someone else? And when you speak about other people, do you have a tendency to make them look better or worse than yourself? This is what is means by observing the ego.

Also, see what happens to your ego once you begin talking less about yourself and saying more positive things about other people. How do you feel when you compliment somebody in their absence to another person? Pause and reflect upon the other person's reaction. Use the pause to your advantage in becoming more attuned to yourself and other people. What happens when you compliment someone personally? Do they smile or frown? How does that make you feel? How do you feel if someone compliments you? If you feel good why not make others feel good too? A compliment is a present that you give someone that doesn't cost anything. Do an experiment - see what you feel when you give the next person you see a compliment. 

In the next post we will investigate what happens when the ego gets out of control.  But for now I urge you to do the experiment.