Mindfulness Practice 4

Interpersonal communication involves social interactions between two or more people.   It is a way we humans exchange ideas, opinions, concepts, feelings, beliefs, etc.  We not only  undertake the activity through dialogue but also through facial expressions and body movements.  The slightest change in voice tone and volume, facial expression and hand gestures can change the perception of a person's intent and message.  To understand completely what the other person is communicating to us we must be fully aware and in the moment. 

When carrying on a conversation have you ever found yourself thinking about what you are going to say next?  Or have you ever been interrupted by someone who couldn't wait for you to finish what you were saying?  Or while someone is talking to you have you ever thought to yourself, "She/he has a funny nose, is too fat, has a weird voice, has a droopy eye," etc.?  If you have, you are not alone. Most people have experienced these moments of communication breakdowns.  The breakdown is usually due to lack of receptive listening and sense of self on one or both sides of the isle.  

The practice of mindful listening involves receptive listening along with an innate sense of self.  Receptive listening is the ability to stay focused.  Sense of self is the ability to know who you are.  The first one is not difficult to understand.  Staying focused means not allowing your attention and thoughts to wander.  The second is a little more difficult to understand. 

Your self is that person you call "I" and "Me."  To know your self requires fully understanding why you do what you do.  There have been volumes written on the subject but in short the self is all your values and feelings.  The self is what makes up the total package of you.  It's what makes you "tick."  And most of all it includes that thing called the ego.  I discuss in detail how you can figure out your self in You Can Develop Pure Awareness.  I'm not touting my book necessarily but just saying if you want to look a little deeper into your psyche you can find out how in the book.  By the way, it's only 99 cents on e-book. 

So, if you stay focused on the person you are conversing with and you know the essence of your being (the self), you will pick up many subtle nuances that you have been missing all these years.  You will get more out of the conversation and learn things you never knew existed about the person as well as yourself.