Negative emotions cause all kinds of problems for us all.  They cause problems for the person having the emotion and usually for people nearby such as a spouse, friend, relative and so on. The first thing we must do when negative emotions arise is to be able to recognize that we are having a negative emotions.

You may ask; what is a negative emotion? A negative emotion is a thought or a thought process that feeds on itself and makes the thinker act in a negative way. The negative reaction might be internal such as heart beating rapidly, sweating, temperature rising, anger swelling up inside and so on.  Or the negative reaction could be external resulting in harm to one's self or someone else.

According to the book You Are Not Your Brain by Jeffrey Schwaertz, M.D. and Rebecca Gladding, M.D., a good way to overcome negative emotions to follow four steps.  The first step is to recognize you are having a negative thought. That may sound simple but in most cases when negative thoughts arise we get caught up in the thought and the emotions that we think it is the truth and we must do something about it immediately or it will get out of hand. The trick is to back off, as it were, and observe the fact that you are having a negative thought.

The ability to recognize yourself having a negative thought takes practice - practice through meditation, just sitting and focusing on your breathing and noticing thoughts as the come and go. With practice you will eventually be able to observe yourself having negative thoughts. This is the first and foremost step.

The second step is to give the negative thought a label.  What is the thought?  If you are thinking about what is going to happen in the future it is a"fortune telling" thought. If it is a thought that leads to another thought about something that can get worse and another thought as to how things can get even more worse than it is a "catastrophizing" thought.  If the thought is one that says you should do something then it is a "should" thought. "I should do this and I should do that."  Or, "He should be more kind to me or she should not be late all the time."  Should, should, should. As the old saying goes; don't should on yourself so much.

The third step is do something worthwhile that involves some kind of physical activity like walking, biking, yoga, etc. The body and the mind are inexorably linked.  When the body gets moving the mind automatically focuses on the body to some degree or another; it has to.  This helps take the pressure off negative thinking.

The fourth step is to develop a "Wise Advocate."  This is the subject on the next blog.  Stay tuned.