Please feel free to read this blog and join in. I hope you will write something inspirational, inspiring, spiritual, controversial, amusing, engaging or just plain run of the mill. But please don't be brusque, churlish or licentious.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Panic Attack continued

It was at that point in my life I discovered yoga and the art of meditation.  A yoga class was being offered at the college and I thought, "What the heck, what can it hurt?"  It was 90 minutes of stretching, twisting, holding poses I never knew existed, and a lot of breath control.  At the end of the class I was exhausted yet felt liberated and knew I found something that I needed very badly and had to pursue.

I knew I had to know more about yoga because it was going to be my life long endeavor.  Goswami Kriyananda, Temple of Kriya Yoga http://www.yogakriya.org/, became my distant learning guru.  Not knowing exactly where I was headed I practiced yoga and meditation every day and discovered myself being transformed from a self-indulgent introvert into a more caring person.  The universe really didn't revolve around me.  I learned there was really no "me" or "I" or small self.  All that crap was an illusion - a figment of my imagination.

All those years I was duped into thinking everything was about me and mine.  I learned that there is more to life - the universe - than this tiny little drop called "self."  It was a metamorphosis.  I was slowly emerging from a dark cave of apathy, anxiety, and depression into a much brighter world.  It was like coming out of a dark pit into clean, fresh air.  

That was eighteen years ago.  I can now speak in front of groups and enjoy.  It may be students, supervisors, or anybody.  The energy now flows both ways - from me to them and from them to me simultaneously. Fear of speaking or reading in front of a group no longer exists. Fear was the negative force that created my anxiety and panic.  In the next blog I'll talk about fear.

No comments: