Remember, your self is the way you are in life. It is basically your mandala that you developed in the last post. Your self consists of all your perceptions, desires, memories, judgments, and intellectual functioning (reasoning). The self is not the same thing as the ego. The self is simply all of your values and feelings.
Use your personal mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily life. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what your are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
Although we may look and act differently, in reality we are all the same: one and the same. We are much more than simply values and feelings. Complete realization that we are one with everything is a giant step that many people can't or don's want to make. Many of us can't reach down into our true nature because the conceptual mind continues to hold onto the image that we are separate from the world and everyone else.
When an incident happens such as an argument, a feeling of anxiety, joy, love, hatred, etc., look at your mandala and see how many of the petals on your mandala are being reflected. Do the same thing for ways you seek comfort, pleasure and relationships. The use of the mandala in becoming aware of your self is a crucial step toward pure awareness and being able to transcend the little self.
In the next post we will talk about how the self and the ego are related.
Friday, January 10, 2020
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Using your mandala
In the last post you developed your personal mandala that reflects your self - your values and feelings. This mandala consists of six petals which point to the outside world and beyond. No two of the six petals interlock, but are interrelated with one another. The central focus of the mandala is the person to whom you refer to as yourself. The labels that are attached to the petals prevent the spirit of the True Being from shining outward. As long as the central being is attached to any of the labels, total awareness is not possible. The task is to become unattached to the labels.
The self is who you think you are. In other words, it is all of those values and feelings that you have accumulated over the years of living on this planet. When you refer to yourself it is, almost always, the small self you are talking about. On the other hand, the Self (big "S") usually refers to that which is always present, formless, pure and unchanging. The big Self is also known as the witness.
Use your mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily activities. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what you are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
So, for the next few days use your mandala to reflect on your self and to study your self. Try to understand why you feel the way you do when certain situations happen. While you are doing this self study remember that it is not those outside happenings that create your feelings, your feelings are created by who you (small self) are.
Stay with your self study and on the next blog you will see how you can go beyond the little self and onto the more powerful big Self.
The self is who you think you are. In other words, it is all of those values and feelings that you have accumulated over the years of living on this planet. When you refer to yourself it is, almost always, the small self you are talking about. On the other hand, the Self (big "S") usually refers to that which is always present, formless, pure and unchanging. The big Self is also known as the witness.
Use your mandala to remind you of your values and feelings and to allow you to reflect on how these values and feelings affect your daily activities. This is an important step because, by using the mandala to look at yourself, you can begin to see why you do the things you do depending on what happens outside and inside of you. It is important to remember that the mandala (the self) is not what you are - this is simply the way you react to various situations that you encounter every day.
So, for the next few days use your mandala to reflect on your self and to study your self. Try to understand why you feel the way you do when certain situations happen. While you are doing this self study remember that it is not those outside happenings that create your feelings, your feelings are created by who you (small self) are.
Stay with your self study and on the next blog you will see how you can go beyond the little self and onto the more powerful big Self.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Form your own personal mandala
Up to this point you should have picked three values and three feelings that depict how you view yourself. These six indices make up your self (small "s"), the person whom you consider yourself. If you picked them with true conviction and honesty they will reflect how you react in everyday situations. In essence they are why you do what you do. Using these six indices you can put together your own personal mandala ('mun-du-la') and use it to become the witness of the self.
Your Personal Mandala
Put a check mark beside your values and feelings listed below..
Then write your values and feelings on the mandala provided below that. For example, if you picked aesthetics for the way you find pleasure, write aesthetics on the petal labeled pleasure. Write your name in the center of the mandala. The mandala represents your self.
Values Feelings
Way of Being Pleasure
___Unique ___Aesthetics
___Special ___Stimulation
___Importance ___Novelty
Relationships Comfort
___Belonging ___Relaxed
___Acceptance ___Security
___Intimacy ___Peace of Mind
Doing Fear
___Achievement ___Loneliness
___Competence ___Nothingness
___Control ___Helplessness
On the next post we will talk about how to use your mandala to understand why you do what you do and how it relates to your true Self.
Your Personal Mandala
Put a check mark beside your values and feelings listed below..
Then write your values and feelings on the mandala provided below that. For example, if you picked aesthetics for the way you find pleasure, write aesthetics on the petal labeled pleasure. Write your name in the center of the mandala. The mandala represents your self.
Values Feelings
Way of Being Pleasure
___Unique ___Aesthetics
___Special ___Stimulation
___Importance ___Novelty
Relationships Comfort
___Belonging ___Relaxed
___Acceptance ___Security
___Intimacy ___Peace of Mind
Doing Fear
___Achievement ___Loneliness
___Competence ___Nothingness
___Control ___Helplessness
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
What do you fear the most?
Truly knowing all of your values and feelings will bring you closer to understanding why you do the things you do. In other words, you begin to know your self. So far we have investigated the values of your Being, Relationships, and Doing and how you feel about Pleasure and Comfort. Now you are going to take a look at Fear. What do you fear the most?
Fear is a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat to the self. The perceived threat is usually one which can cause harm or even death, and death is from where all other fears originate. The world in which we live is challenging and uncertain and death is a constant factor.
Many people experience similar situations and avoid experiencing their fears by not confronting them. They stop doing whatever it was that caused them to experience anxiety in the first place. They may go into seclusion, find another line of work or become so depressed they become mentally and even physically ill. Other people use alcohol to suppress their anxieties and fears or turn to drugs. The three fears we will look at are: loneliness, helplessness, and nothingness. All fears, no matter what, fall into these three categories.
Loneliness is a very subjective experience. You can feel lonely while in a crowd of people, at a party, with friends and family as well as in isolation. The feeling is usually one of emptiness and meaningless. If you feel lonely you are lonely.
If you love the stimulation of conversation and social interaction, the thought of no social interaction could be very fearful. Almost everyone feels lonely at one time or another but loneliness is not everyone's biggest fear. If one of your values is belonging or intimacy, we discussed earlier, chances are your biggest fear is loneliness. No one to talk to, to confer with or to exchange ideas with would be the closest thing to death for you.
Helplessness is another fear that emerges when you feel constrained, locked in or out, trapped and unable to be free. Being unable to take care of yourself would give you a feeling of helplessness. If you value being in control, helplessness would probably be your biggest fear.
Some people describe helplessness as a "feeling of being restrained, powerless, like a sinking ship, an animal in a trap." You might say that if you are helpless you might as well be dead.
Finally, there is nothingness. Nothingness is the great space where you evaporate into nothing at the end of your life. Nothingness has everything to do with what comes after death rather than the experience of being helpless or lonely prior to death.
In the Never Ending Story nothingness is described as "drowning in the swamp of sadness." This is a good analogy because when you fear nothingness there is a sadness which prevails in the mind - there is nothing after life, so why make an effort to do anything? Nothingness is the fear that death results in a dark, everlasting void with no soul, sense of being or consciousness - a state of nonexistence - a vacuum.
Considering these three fears, which one do you fear the most; loneliness, helplessness or nothingness? Like choosing all the other values and feelings, take your time and look deep within and use your memory to recall moments in your life where you felt fear. Look at the present moment and feel your sense of awareness to the most prevalent fear right now.
In the next pose you will take your three values and three feelings and form your own personal mandala.
Fear is a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat to the self. The perceived threat is usually one which can cause harm or even death, and death is from where all other fears originate. The world in which we live is challenging and uncertain and death is a constant factor.
Many people experience similar situations and avoid experiencing their fears by not confronting them. They stop doing whatever it was that caused them to experience anxiety in the first place. They may go into seclusion, find another line of work or become so depressed they become mentally and even physically ill. Other people use alcohol to suppress their anxieties and fears or turn to drugs. The three fears we will look at are: loneliness, helplessness, and nothingness. All fears, no matter what, fall into these three categories.
Loneliness is a very subjective experience. You can feel lonely while in a crowd of people, at a party, with friends and family as well as in isolation. The feeling is usually one of emptiness and meaningless. If you feel lonely you are lonely.
If you love the stimulation of conversation and social interaction, the thought of no social interaction could be very fearful. Almost everyone feels lonely at one time or another but loneliness is not everyone's biggest fear. If one of your values is belonging or intimacy, we discussed earlier, chances are your biggest fear is loneliness. No one to talk to, to confer with or to exchange ideas with would be the closest thing to death for you.
Helplessness is another fear that emerges when you feel constrained, locked in or out, trapped and unable to be free. Being unable to take care of yourself would give you a feeling of helplessness. If you value being in control, helplessness would probably be your biggest fear.
Some people describe helplessness as a "feeling of being restrained, powerless, like a sinking ship, an animal in a trap." You might say that if you are helpless you might as well be dead.
Finally, there is nothingness. Nothingness is the great space where you evaporate into nothing at the end of your life. Nothingness has everything to do with what comes after death rather than the experience of being helpless or lonely prior to death.
In the Never Ending Story nothingness is described as "drowning in the swamp of sadness." This is a good analogy because when you fear nothingness there is a sadness which prevails in the mind - there is nothing after life, so why make an effort to do anything? Nothingness is the fear that death results in a dark, everlasting void with no soul, sense of being or consciousness - a state of nonexistence - a vacuum.
Considering these three fears, which one do you fear the most; loneliness, helplessness or nothingness? Like choosing all the other values and feelings, take your time and look deep within and use your memory to recall moments in your life where you felt fear. Look at the present moment and feel your sense of awareness to the most prevalent fear right now.
In the next pose you will take your three values and three feelings and form your own personal mandala.
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Relaxation and Security
How do you seek comfort? In the last post we talked about peace of mind. Now we will take a look at the last two ways to seek comfort - relaxation and security.
Relaxation is a way to seek comfort for many people. Being relaxed refers to being physically comfortable more than mentally comfortable. You can be physically comfortable and not mentally comfortable. The two are not necessarily mutually inclusive.
You could be swinging in a hammock with your body completely relaxed and the mind having all kinds of disturbing and obsessive thoughts. This scenario is easy to understand because we have all been in this situation - body comfortable and mind disturbed. It's hard to imagine the reverse though where the mind is comfortable and the body disturbed because of the close connection between the body and mind. If the body hurts it is usually difficult to have a peaceful mind. However, through meditation you can learn to have a calm mind and an aching body.
The difference between being relaxed and peace of mind depends on whether you are seeking mental refuge or physical comfort. This is sometimes a difficult discernment to make given the fact that they seem similar in their etiology. To make a clear distinction between the two simply reflect on what makes you uncomfortable and then decide what you would do to ease the discomfort. If it is something that wold make your mind calmer, it would be peace of mind. If it is something that would make your body calmer, it is relaxation. Do some self-observations and self-remembering and decide which is more important to you: peace of mind or relaxation. Maybe it's neither. Maybe security is more important to you.
Security is a type of comfort where you can put the future to rest. You don't have to worry about what's coming next. To you, being secure may mean being financially secure, having job security, a trusting relationship, freedom from all danger or future misfortune. Security is essentially having what you need in order to feel confident about the future as well as the present moment.
A person who wants security and doesn't have it won't feel comfortable. That's what it boils down to. It is very important for that person to, first and foremost, become secure before all else.
Much like peace of mind, security has to do with being mentally comfortable. However, it is a projection into the future and feeling ready for any crisis or catastrophe that might arise. If you spend a lot of time planning to keep yourself, others and material things protected from what might happen so you can have peace of mind then your are more into security than peace of mind. In other words, security is primary and peace of mind is secondary. You would not be able to have peace of mind knowing that you were not safe and secure from danger.
So now you have three values from which to choose as far as comfort goes: peace of mind, relaxation and security. You can only pick one; the primary one. Take your time, think about it and reflect on it.
In the next post we will get into the last major value - what you fear the most.
Relaxation is a way to seek comfort for many people. Being relaxed refers to being physically comfortable more than mentally comfortable. You can be physically comfortable and not mentally comfortable. The two are not necessarily mutually inclusive.
You could be swinging in a hammock with your body completely relaxed and the mind having all kinds of disturbing and obsessive thoughts. This scenario is easy to understand because we have all been in this situation - body comfortable and mind disturbed. It's hard to imagine the reverse though where the mind is comfortable and the body disturbed because of the close connection between the body and mind. If the body hurts it is usually difficult to have a peaceful mind. However, through meditation you can learn to have a calm mind and an aching body.
The difference between being relaxed and peace of mind depends on whether you are seeking mental refuge or physical comfort. This is sometimes a difficult discernment to make given the fact that they seem similar in their etiology. To make a clear distinction between the two simply reflect on what makes you uncomfortable and then decide what you would do to ease the discomfort. If it is something that wold make your mind calmer, it would be peace of mind. If it is something that would make your body calmer, it is relaxation. Do some self-observations and self-remembering and decide which is more important to you: peace of mind or relaxation. Maybe it's neither. Maybe security is more important to you.
Security is a type of comfort where you can put the future to rest. You don't have to worry about what's coming next. To you, being secure may mean being financially secure, having job security, a trusting relationship, freedom from all danger or future misfortune. Security is essentially having what you need in order to feel confident about the future as well as the present moment.
A person who wants security and doesn't have it won't feel comfortable. That's what it boils down to. It is very important for that person to, first and foremost, become secure before all else.
Much like peace of mind, security has to do with being mentally comfortable. However, it is a projection into the future and feeling ready for any crisis or catastrophe that might arise. If you spend a lot of time planning to keep yourself, others and material things protected from what might happen so you can have peace of mind then your are more into security than peace of mind. In other words, security is primary and peace of mind is secondary. You would not be able to have peace of mind knowing that you were not safe and secure from danger.
So now you have three values from which to choose as far as comfort goes: peace of mind, relaxation and security. You can only pick one; the primary one. Take your time, think about it and reflect on it.
In the next post we will get into the last major value - what you fear the most.
Saturday, December 21, 2019
How do you seek Comfort?
Comfort is the freedom from hardship; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is tranquility, serenity, contentment and well-being of the entire energy system.
The type of comfort a person seeks depends on many things It may be due to nature, it may be due to nurture or it may be both. It is practically impossible to get a handle on the why in this case. One thing for sure though, everyone seeks all three types of comfort: peace of mind, security and relaxation. However, not everyone seeks all three with equal intensity. One type usually stands above the other two. Which one is it for you?
Peace of mind has to do with being mentally comfortable. People who seek peace of mind are looking for the absence of mental stress and anxiety. They want the presence of serenity, calmness, quietness and inner peace
Peace of mind comes when the mind is quiet, comfortable and focused, undisturbed and free from distractions. Life is not stressful. Thoughts are collected or emptied out. Quiet and calm thoughts are necessary for peace of mind.
People may seek peace of mind through meditation, reading a book, watching TV, being with a loved one, lying on the beach listening to the waves roll in, listening to soothing music, taking a vacation to some peaceful venue away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Seeking peace of mind may be taken to extreme. Extremism is a judgment call and what seems extreme to one person may not be extreme to another. You can be the judge.
There is a fellow I know who makes every effort to never be caught in a group setting. He has arranged his life around avoiding more than four people at a time. To those who know him say he is a recluse. He lives alone but will invite people over to his house as long as there are no more than four people and the visit doesn't last longer than one hour. He doesn't belong to any club, doesn't go to church or attend parties and refuses to go anywhere there might be a large group. Some have labeled him antisocial and a social phobic. These are labels other people have placed on him. Whatever the case, this is the way he seeks peace of mind. There is no right or wrong
In the next post we will discuss the other two types of comfort - security and being relaxed.
The type of comfort a person seeks depends on many things It may be due to nature, it may be due to nurture or it may be both. It is practically impossible to get a handle on the why in this case. One thing for sure though, everyone seeks all three types of comfort: peace of mind, security and relaxation. However, not everyone seeks all three with equal intensity. One type usually stands above the other two. Which one is it for you?
Peace of mind has to do with being mentally comfortable. People who seek peace of mind are looking for the absence of mental stress and anxiety. They want the presence of serenity, calmness, quietness and inner peace
Peace of mind comes when the mind is quiet, comfortable and focused, undisturbed and free from distractions. Life is not stressful. Thoughts are collected or emptied out. Quiet and calm thoughts are necessary for peace of mind.
People may seek peace of mind through meditation, reading a book, watching TV, being with a loved one, lying on the beach listening to the waves roll in, listening to soothing music, taking a vacation to some peaceful venue away from the hustle and bustle of city life.
Seeking peace of mind may be taken to extreme. Extremism is a judgment call and what seems extreme to one person may not be extreme to another. You can be the judge.
There is a fellow I know who makes every effort to never be caught in a group setting. He has arranged his life around avoiding more than four people at a time. To those who know him say he is a recluse. He lives alone but will invite people over to his house as long as there are no more than four people and the visit doesn't last longer than one hour. He doesn't belong to any club, doesn't go to church or attend parties and refuses to go anywhere there might be a large group. Some have labeled him antisocial and a social phobic. These are labels other people have placed on him. Whatever the case, this is the way he seeks peace of mind. There is no right or wrong
In the next post we will discuss the other two types of comfort - security and being relaxed.
Thursday, December 19, 2019
Maybe You are into Aesthetics
In the last two posts we discussed novelty and stimulation as types of pleasure you might be into. The third, and last, type of pleasure is aesthetics.
Those who seek aesthetics enjoy beholding things that are beautiful, such as works of art, music, a landscape, animals, other humans, etc. The thing you consider beautiful gives you a good feeling and you could behold it for a long time without becoming bored. You like beautiful things more than you like novelty or stimulation.
The old saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is very true when it comes to the pleasure of aesthetics. Do you like Bach or Rapp, Picasso or Rembrandt, oceans or mountains, sunset or sunrise? None of these may appeal to you and that's okay, but as long as you seek pleasure in the form of what you consider beautiful, you are into aesthetics.
What is your pleasure - novelty, stimulation or aesthetics? If you don't know yet take your time to think about it. Remember things you have done that gave you the most pleasure in life. Where do they fit? Do they fit into experiences that were novel, stimulating or beautiful? Pick one and write it down because in the next post we will get into what you do to seek comfort.
There are only two more values to go in order to form your own personal mandala that depicts your self - how and why you do the things you do. You will have total insight into you - the person you call "Me" and "I."
Those who seek aesthetics enjoy beholding things that are beautiful, such as works of art, music, a landscape, animals, other humans, etc. The thing you consider beautiful gives you a good feeling and you could behold it for a long time without becoming bored. You like beautiful things more than you like novelty or stimulation.
The old saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is very true when it comes to the pleasure of aesthetics. Do you like Bach or Rapp, Picasso or Rembrandt, oceans or mountains, sunset or sunrise? None of these may appeal to you and that's okay, but as long as you seek pleasure in the form of what you consider beautiful, you are into aesthetics.
What is your pleasure - novelty, stimulation or aesthetics? If you don't know yet take your time to think about it. Remember things you have done that gave you the most pleasure in life. Where do they fit? Do they fit into experiences that were novel, stimulating or beautiful? Pick one and write it down because in the next post we will get into what you do to seek comfort.
There are only two more values to go in order to form your own personal mandala that depicts your self - how and why you do the things you do. You will have total insight into you - the person you call "Me" and "I."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)