Relaxation and Security

How do you seek comfort?  In the last post we talked about peace of mind.  Now we will take a look at the last two ways to seek comfort - relaxation and security.

Relaxation is a way to seek comfort for many people. Being relaxed refers to being physically comfortable more than mentally comfortable. You can be physically comfortable and not mentally comfortable. The two are not necessarily mutually inclusive.

You could be swinging in a hammock with your body completely relaxed and the mind having all kinds of disturbing and obsessive thoughts. This scenario is easy to understand because we have all been in this situation - body comfortable and mind disturbed. It's hard to imagine the reverse though where the mind is comfortable and the body disturbed because of the close connection between the body and mind. If the body hurts it is usually difficult to have a peaceful mind. However, through meditation you can learn to have a calm mind and an aching body.

The difference between being relaxed and peace of mind depends on whether you are seeking mental refuge or physical comfort. This is sometimes a difficult discernment to make given the fact that they seem similar in their etiology. To make a clear distinction between the two simply reflect on what makes you uncomfortable and then decide what you would do to ease the discomfort. If it is something that wold make your mind calmer, it would be peace of mind. If it is something that would make your body calmer, it is relaxation. Do some self-observations and self-remembering and decide which is more important to you: peace of mind or relaxation. Maybe it's neither. Maybe security is more important to you. 

Security is a type of comfort where you can put the future to rest. You don't have to worry about what's coming next. To you, being secure may mean being financially secure, having job security, a trusting relationship, freedom from all danger or future misfortune. Security is essentially having what you need in order to feel confident about the future as well as the present moment.

A person who wants security and doesn't have it won't feel comfortable. That's what it boils down to. It is very important for that person to, first and foremost, become secure before all else. 

Much like peace of mind, security has to do with being mentally comfortable. However, it is a projection into the future and feeling ready for any crisis or catastrophe that might arise. If you spend a lot of time planning to keep yourself, others and material things protected from what might happen so you can have peace of mind then your are more into security than peace of mind. In other words, security is primary and peace of mind is secondary. You would not be able to have peace of mind knowing that you were not safe and secure from danger. 

So now you have three values from which to choose as far as comfort goes: peace of mind, relaxation and security. You can only pick one; the primary one. Take your time, think about it and reflect on it. 

In the next post we will get into the last major value - what you fear the most.