What do you fear the most?

Truly knowing all of  your values and feelings will bring you closer to understanding why you do the things you do. In other words, you begin to know your self. So far we have investigated the values of your Being, Relationships, and Doing and how you feel about Pleasure and Comfort.  Now you are going to take a look at Fear.  What do you fear the most?

Fear is a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat to the self. The perceived threat is usually one which can cause harm or even death, and death is from where all other fears originate. The world in which we live is challenging and uncertain and death is a constant factor.

Many people experience similar situations and avoid experiencing their fears by not confronting them. They stop doing whatever it was that caused them to experience anxiety in the first place. They may go into seclusion, find another line of work or become so depressed they become mentally and even physically ill. Other people use alcohol to suppress their anxieties and fears or turn to drugs. The three fears we will look at are: loneliness, helplessness, and nothingness. All fears, no matter what, fall into these three categories.

Loneliness is a very subjective experience. You can feel lonely while in a crowd of people, at a party, with friends and family as well as in isolation. The feeling is usually one of emptiness and meaningless. If you feel lonely you are lonely.

If you love the stimulation of conversation and social interaction, the thought of no social interaction could be very fearful. Almost everyone feels lonely at one time or another but loneliness is not everyone's biggest fear. If one of your values is belonging or intimacy, we discussed earlier, chances are your biggest fear is loneliness. No one to talk to, to confer with or to exchange ideas with would be the closest thing to death for you.

Helplessness is another fear that emerges when you feel constrained, locked in or out, trapped and unable to be free. Being unable to take care of yourself would give you a feeling of helplessness. If you value being in control, helplessness would probably be your biggest fear.

Some people describe helplessness as a "feeling of being restrained, powerless, like a sinking ship, an animal in a trap." You might say that if you are helpless you might as well be dead. 

Finally, there is nothingness. Nothingness is the great space where you evaporate into nothing at the end of your life. Nothingness has everything to do with what comes after death rather than the experience of being helpless or lonely prior to death.

In the Never Ending Story nothingness is described as "drowning in the swamp of sadness." This is a good analogy because when you fear nothingness there is a sadness which prevails in the mind - there is nothing after life, so why make an effort to do anything? Nothingness is the fear that death results in a dark, everlasting void with no soul, sense of being or consciousness - a state of nonexistence - a vacuum. 

Considering these three fears, which one do you fear the most; loneliness, helplessness or nothingness?  Like choosing all the other values and feelings, take your time and look deep within and use your memory to recall moments in your life where you felt fear. Look at the present moment and feel your sense of awareness to the most prevalent fear right now. 

In the next pose you will take your three values and three feelings and form your own personal mandala.