What do you fear the most?

Truly knowing all of  your values and feelings will bring you closer to understanding why you do the things you do. In other words, you begin to know your self. So far we have investigated the values of your Being, Relationships, and Doing and how you feel about Pleasure and Comfort.  Now you are going to take a look at Fear.  What do you fear the most?

Fear is a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat to the self. The perceived threat is usually one which can cause harm or even death, and death is from where all other fears originate. The world in which we live is challenging and uncertain and death is a constant factor.

Many people experience similar situations and avoid experiencing their fears by not confronting them. They stop doing whatever it was that caused them to experience anxiety in the first place. They may go into seclusion, find another line of work or become so depressed they become mentally and even physically ill. Other people use alcohol to suppress their anxieties and fears or turn to drugs. The three fears we will look at are: loneliness, helplessness, and nothingness. All fears, no matter what, fall into these three categories.

Loneliness is a very subjective experience. You can feel lonely while in a crowd of people, at a party, with friends and family as well as in isolation. The feeling is usually one of emptiness and meaningless. If you feel lonely you are lonely.

If you love the stimulation of conversation and social interaction, the thought of no social interaction could be very fearful. Almost everyone feels lonely at one time or another but loneliness is not everyone's biggest fear. If one of your values is belonging or intimacy, we discussed earlier, chances are your biggest fear is loneliness. No one to talk to, to confer with or to exchange ideas with would be the closest thing to death for you.

Helplessness is another fear that emerges when you feel constrained, locked in or out, trapped and unable to be free. Being unable to take care of yourself would give you a feeling of helplessness. If you value being in control, helplessness would probably be your biggest fear.

Some people describe helplessness as a "feeling of being restrained, powerless, like a sinking ship, an animal in a trap." You might say that if you are helpless you might as well be dead. 

Finally, there is nothingness. Nothingness is the great space where you evaporate into nothing at the end of your life. Nothingness has everything to do with what comes after death rather than the experience of being helpless or lonely prior to death.

In the Never Ending Story nothingness is described as "drowning in the swamp of sadness." This is a good analogy because when you fear nothingness there is a sadness which prevails in the mind - there is nothing after life, so why make an effort to do anything? Nothingness is the fear that death results in a dark, everlasting void with no soul, sense of being or consciousness - a state of nonexistence - a vacuum. 

Considering these three fears, which one do you fear the most; loneliness, helplessness or nothingness?  Like choosing all the other values and feelings, take your time and look deep within and use your memory to recall moments in your life where you felt fear. Look at the present moment and feel your sense of awareness to the most prevalent fear right now. 

In the next pose you will take your three values and three feelings and form your own personal mandala.

Relaxation and Security

How do you seek comfort?  In the last post we talked about peace of mind.  Now we will take a look at the last two ways to seek comfort - relaxation and security.

Relaxation is a way to seek comfort for many people. Being relaxed refers to being physically comfortable more than mentally comfortable. You can be physically comfortable and not mentally comfortable. The two are not necessarily mutually inclusive.

You could be swinging in a hammock with your body completely relaxed and the mind having all kinds of disturbing and obsessive thoughts. This scenario is easy to understand because we have all been in this situation - body comfortable and mind disturbed. It's hard to imagine the reverse though where the mind is comfortable and the body disturbed because of the close connection between the body and mind. If the body hurts it is usually difficult to have a peaceful mind. However, through meditation you can learn to have a calm mind and an aching body.

The difference between being relaxed and peace of mind depends on whether you are seeking mental refuge or physical comfort. This is sometimes a difficult discernment to make given the fact that they seem similar in their etiology. To make a clear distinction between the two simply reflect on what makes you uncomfortable and then decide what you would do to ease the discomfort. If it is something that wold make your mind calmer, it would be peace of mind. If it is something that would make your body calmer, it is relaxation. Do some self-observations and self-remembering and decide which is more important to you: peace of mind or relaxation. Maybe it's neither. Maybe security is more important to you. 

Security is a type of comfort where you can put the future to rest. You don't have to worry about what's coming next. To you, being secure may mean being financially secure, having job security, a trusting relationship, freedom from all danger or future misfortune. Security is essentially having what you need in order to feel confident about the future as well as the present moment.

A person who wants security and doesn't have it won't feel comfortable. That's what it boils down to. It is very important for that person to, first and foremost, become secure before all else. 

Much like peace of mind, security has to do with being mentally comfortable. However, it is a projection into the future and feeling ready for any crisis or catastrophe that might arise. If you spend a lot of time planning to keep yourself, others and material things protected from what might happen so you can have peace of mind then your are more into security than peace of mind. In other words, security is primary and peace of mind is secondary. You would not be able to have peace of mind knowing that you were not safe and secure from danger. 

So now you have three values from which to choose as far as comfort goes: peace of mind, relaxation and security. You can only pick one; the primary one. Take your time, think about it and reflect on it. 

In the next post we will get into the last major value - what you fear the most.

How do you seek Comfort?

Comfort is the freedom from hardship; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is tranquility, serenity, contentment and well-being of the entire energy system.

The type of comfort a person seeks depends on many things  It may be due to nature, it may be due to nurture or it may be both. It is practically impossible to get a handle on the why in this case. One thing for sure though, everyone seeks all three types of comfort: peace of mind, security and relaxation. However, not everyone seeks all three with equal intensity. One type usually stands above the other two. Which one is it for you?

Peace of mind has to do with being mentally comfortable. People who seek peace of mind are looking for the absence of mental stress and anxiety. They want the presence of serenity, calmness, quietness and inner peace

Peace of mind comes when the mind is quiet, comfortable and focused, undisturbed and free from distractions. Life is not stressful. Thoughts are collected or emptied out. Quiet and calm thoughts are necessary for peace of mind.

People may seek peace of mind through meditation, reading a book, watching TV, being with a loved one, lying on the beach listening to the waves roll in, listening to soothing music, taking a vacation to some peaceful venue away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

Seeking peace of mind may be taken to extreme. Extremism is a judgment call and what seems extreme to one person may not be extreme to another.  You can be the judge. 

There is a fellow I know who makes every effort to never be caught in a group setting. He has arranged his life around avoiding more than four people at a time. To those who know him say he is a recluse. He lives alone but will invite people over to his house as long as there are no more than four people and the visit doesn't last longer than one hour. He doesn't belong to any club, doesn't go to church or attend parties and refuses to go anywhere there might be a large group. Some have labeled him antisocial and a social phobic. These are labels other people have placed on him. Whatever the case, this is the way he seeks peace of mind. There is no right or wrong 

In the next post we will discuss the other two types of comfort - security and being relaxed.  

Maybe You are into Aesthetics

In the last two posts we discussed novelty and stimulation as types of pleasure you might be into. The third, and last, type of pleasure is aesthetics. 

Those who seek aesthetics enjoy beholding things that are beautiful, such as works of art, music, a landscape, animals, other humans, etc. The thing you consider beautiful gives you a good feeling and you could behold it for a long time without becoming bored. You like beautiful things more than you like novelty or stimulation. 

The old saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is very true when it comes to the pleasure of aesthetics. Do you like Bach or Rapp, Picasso or Rembrandt, oceans or mountains, sunset or sunrise? None of these may appeal to you and that's okay, but as long as you seek pleasure in the form of what you consider beautiful, you are into aesthetics. 

What is your pleasure - novelty, stimulation or aesthetics?  If you don't know yet take your time to think about it. Remember things you have done that gave you the most pleasure in life. Where do they fit?  Do they fit into experiences that were novel, stimulating or beautiful?  Pick one and write it down because in the next post we will get into what you do to seek comfort.  

There are only two more values to go in order to form your own personal mandala that depicts your self - how and why you do the things you do. You will have total insight into you - the person you call "Me" and "I."  

What is your Pleasure?

There are three ways one finds pleasure and they are by way of stimulation, novelty and aesthetics. If you know of a fourth way, please let me know. I've talked to many people about this subject and no one has yet come up with a fourth.

In the last post we discussed stimulation and whether or not you (the reader) are into this kind of pleasure. If you haven't read that post, simply scroll down. In this post we will talk about novelty.

If you are into novelty you like doing things out of the ordinary. Finding out what is behind the next door is interesting and intriguing. This could mean taking risks or experiencing things that are taboo or anti-social or even immoral. The key is experiencing the unusual. You might enjoy going on an intense roller coaster ride for the first time but repeating it might lose its value For one who is into stimulation, however, the repeated rides can still bring the "rush."

A person who likes novelty usually is going from one thing to the next, seeking the pleasure of diversity. If a person robs a bank one day, goes to church the next day, has illicit sex the following day and then takes a trip to another country he has never been to could be into novelty. But the only person that would really know would be that person.

Seeking the pleasure of novelty may not be as dramatic as what we just mentioned above. Novelty could be much less stimulating. My next door neighbor agrees that he is into novelty. When I first met him he owned an auto repair shop. One year later he sold the shop and bought a small cafe. He took a baking class at the local community college and baked his own gods and was doing very well with the business and then sold it eighteen months later and opened an antique shop. He became a picker and sold old and unusual items for much more than what he paid for them. In just over one year he auctioned off everything in the store and moved to another state, bought two apartments and rented them out. After two years he moved back into his original house next door. Now he takes in homeless dogs. 

If stimulation and/or novelty are not what you are into, you might prefer aesthetics. That's the topic for the next post. After that post you will have to decide which one you like the most. 

What are your feelings?

In this post you will continue to learn things about yourself from the viewpoint of how you feel about yourself and the world around you. You are going to focus on the feelings of your being and pick values from three groups (triad) as you did in the last three posts. 

Please do not rush through the process because its important to know your self from all angles. In the last three posts we looked at three values: way of being, relationships, and doing. Each one of those values in turn had three sub-values, so there were nine sub-values altogether. For now you should have three sub-values, one from each value. When you are through you will have six sub-values from which you will form your own personal mandala.

The triad for feelings consists of pleasure, comfort and fear. All of us seem to have these three different kinds of feelings but in different ways. Similar to what you did for values in the last posts you will narrow each triad down to one that best fits you. Please take your time and have fun. 

Pleasure is strictly subjective and one person's pleasure may be another person's experience of shear boredom. Other activities and events like eating chocolate, looking at a sunset, listening to music, meditating, receiving recognition and accomplishing a task can also produce pleasurable feelings. The list of things that can engender pleasure is basically never ending. However, all aspects of pleasure can be lumped into three categories: stimulation, novelty and aesthetics.

If you are into stimulation, you love things happening around you and even to you. You like it when you are moved or affected. This might be lots of loud music, social activities, conversations, an exciting television program or movie, almost anything to fill an empty space of experience.

Sky diving, bungee jumping, base jumping, rock climbing, cave diving, big-wave surfing, bull riding and bull running are all stimulating activities but they don't necessarily mean that one who takes up the activity is into stimulation. A person might consider sky diving or cave diving peaceful and soothing for instance. On the other hand, if a person pursues such activities for the stimulation of it, then he/she is definitely into stimulation. 

It's hard to tell what another person's motive is for seeking pleasure. The only one who knows is the person who is doing the seeking.

If stimulation doesn't seem to be your cup of tea, then possibly novelty or aesthetics would be your pleasure. Stop here, for now, and allow yourself to think about whether or not you are into stimulation.  

In the next post you will examine the other types of pleasure: aesthetics and novelty. You can be rest assured that one of these three pleasures (stimulation, novelty or aesthetic) will be your
kind of pleasure. 

How do you do things?

In the last post we talked about how you valued your relationships with other beings. You had the choices of belonging, intimacy and acceptance. Your task was to narrow it down to only one value, the one that fits you the best. If you are just beginning this post, please scroll down to the beginning. So far we have covered two major values: Way of Being and Relationships.

Doing is the last of the major values.  As in the first two major values the value of doing also has three minor values from which you must discover the one that best fits you. 

When you examine yourself through self observation and self-remembering you need to discover how your energy flows. You will see what I mean as we get into your three choices.

Control.  If you value control it doesn't necessarily mean that you are a controlling person, it means that you like staying on top of things. You like to keep things neat and orderly, make lists and generally just want to know where everything is. You like symmetry and clarity. Doing things thoroughly and mastering them is important to you - even if it takes longer to do. Quality is better than quantity for you. It is not how much you do but how you do it. You may or may not like doing many things at the same time but when you do, you do them very well.   

Competence.  If you don't value control maybe you like being able to do many things well, but not necessarily perfectly. If so, then you might value being competent. For example, you may learn how to play the guitar but once you are able to play it well enough to your satisfaction you feel there is no need to go any further. Striving to be the best is not for you, and neither is conquering something and then making a big deal out of it. Competence means being confident about what you can do. If the plumbing breaks down you can repair it. If there is an electrical problem you can deal with it, and so on. Competent people like to feel as though they are people of many talents but not necessarily masters.

Achieving. If the first two (control & competence) don't seem to be who you are then you are probably an achiever. You set a goal and work at achieving that goal step by step. You like building success one small goal at a time. You may have plaques on your wall that display your conquests toward those goals. You like to take things to the next level. There is no end point for you. Achievement follows achievement.

Achievers usually become specialists in whatever they do. They have a goal and take the necessary steps to get there. Achievers may become doctors, lawyers, hairdressers, computer programmers, airline pilots, BMW auto mechanics, and so on.

So, where do you see yourself when it comes to doing? You may have had no problem discovering your way of doing but if you did sit back and take your time. Look at the way you do things. Look back at how you did things over the years. It will come to over time.

Now you should have three values when it comes to your way of being, your relationships and the way you do things. These three values basically represent the way you go about living your life. Another way of putting it is they are an explanation of the way you do things you do. Remember, this is neither good nor bad; it's simply a reflection of values that you deem important to you. The bottom line is, whatever you are is perfect. 

In the next post we will get into the final round, that of feelings. You will continue to examine yourself, but from a slightly different angle. You are going to focus on the feelings area of your being and get a better look at who you are. You will look at how you approach pleasure, comfort, and fear. After that you will have six complete values that depict your self. And then from that you will develop your own personal mandala - your self.  

Relationships

In the last post we talked about way of being and had you choose what you are; unique, special or important. If you missed out on this, you can scroll down to the earlier post. Hopefully, you have decided and are ready to move on to the next value; that of relationships.

The many differences among people and their relationships is one of the strongest bonds existing in the cosmic energy field. The power of association with other people as well as with other beings is a living bond mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Some relationships are stronger than others but all relationships, no matter what their strengths, create awareness toward others as well as ourselves.

When people come together singly or in groups there is always an energy flow. This is the power of association. Some people may harmonize like two magnets coming together, others may be repulsed while some may have no reaction at all.

One type of relationship you might highly value is to be left alone and allowed to do your own thing. You value independence but still like being with your mate or someone special. In this type of relationship you don't like  to be smothered with attention or affection all of the time. We can call this particular kind of relationship acceptance. In other words, you value your space.

When walking side by side with your loved one, you are usually not holding hands and one person may even be walking in front of the other. Sometimes you might even like to be left alone to do what you like by yourself. Other times you like to be with that someone special and share times together.

Another type of relationship involves being with other people. Here you love the idea of belonging to something like a club, a church, some kind of gathering, etc. The thought of going to something like a family reunion brings a smile to your face. You like to talk to other people about their travels, work, family, hobbies, etc. and you like to tell them about yourself as well. Being part of something means a great deal to you. When walking side by side with your loved one you are usually holding hands. A feeling of close connection exists between you and that person. 

The third type of relationship is intimacy. This is a relationship where you love to share deep feelings with your significant other whether it's your spouse, lover, friend, relative or whomever. You like talking to that person about what might be bothering you, how your day went, what you want to do with your life and all kinds of intimate details that you probably would not share with anyone else. You also like to hear the same things from them. You like knowing that you can share your feelings without any kind of repercussion from them or anyone else because what you talk about never leaves the two of you. When walking side by side with your confidant you usually have your arms around each other. There is no separation when you are in the moment of "we." There is a feeling of tight connection between you and that person. 

So, what kind of relationship do you value the most; acceptance, belonging or intimacy?  You may know right off which it is but if you don't, take your time and think about it. 

In the next post we will discuss the third and last major value, that of doing - how you like to do things. Like the last two major values there are three personal values which describe a person's approach to where and how they direct their energies in getting things done. You will probably be able to figure this one out quite easily. 

Figuring out who you are

In figuring out who you really are, way down deep inside, you have to be truly honest with yourself while going through the following assessment. 

First of all, you will take a look at your way of being. This is an inherited characteristic that goes back many thousands of years. It is what you value being as a person in your day-to-day living. You cannot change your way of being but you can recognize it and understand it if you are willing to take an honest look at yourself.

Answer this question; who and what do you consider yourself to be: unique, special or important? These are the three different ways of being. Let's take a look at each one of these ways of being.

Unique means that you consider yourself to be one of a kind, with nobody in the world like you. You value being different and you look at yourself as being in a class all by yourself. You like being unique because you can be as carefree as you want, be whatever you want and to heck with what anybody else thinks. You may dress or wear your hair like no one else and that's okay because that is who you are. You may also drive a unique automobile or live in a unique house and that is okay too because these things make you feel good. 

If you don't see yourself as being unique then you might see yourself as special. As a special person, others make you feel like you really matter. If it weren't for the admiration that someone or some people have for you, you might feel worthless You may consider yourself a jewel - a person of high value and great worth because of what others say and think about you. As a special person you are indeed a diamond in the rough. 

Important means that all you need is to feel good about yourself. You take pride in accomplishing things, getting awards, trophies, plaques and so on that make you stand out or feel good about yourself. When you do something you do it for the satisfaction of pleasing yourself and not necessarily to please someone else. The fact that you can run faster or jump higher than someone else is all you need to feel good. You don't need to have others tell you that you are special or unique.

Can you see which one of the three ways of being you are?  If you can't, then take some time to contemplate the answer by observing yourself over the next few days. You might think that you are two or even all three of the ways, which is sometimes the case for some people. But, remember, only one is more dominant than the other two, so it might take some time to decide which one you are.

Which do you value the most; being unique, special or important?

In the next blog we will take a look at how you value relationships.

Know your self

The self is the "I," "Me," "Mine," etc. we call our self.  It is our thinking, our body, our emotions, our ego, and our feelings. The self is who we think we are. It is that person we see when we look in the mirror, the person whose emotions and pain we feel and the person whose thoughts keep us awake at night. 

Due to nature and nurture we all exhibit three major values. We value how we see ourselves (way of being), how we value our relationships with others, and how we manage our lives (doing). All three of these values are important to understand if we really and truly want to know our self. 

We are going to go through each one of these values, step-by-step, so we can truly understand our self. It is important that we be 100% honest and true to our self while studying these values. We must have the ability to "see" our self the way we actually are, not how we imagine our self to be, what we think we should be or want to be.

In the next post you will be able to figure out what your personal values are and by knowing your values, you will begin to see and understand who you truly are.

Factors that determine who you are

"Conscience is a state in which one cannot hide anything from oneself, and it must be developed." It is "buried very deep down in us and asleep." P.D. Ouspensky.

Who we are and why we do the things we do are basically hidden.  We have to look deep down inside the conscious mind and well as the subconscious. There are two factors that determine who we are  and why we do what we do.

One factor, is our inherited characteristics that have been determined thousands of years ago by our ancestors. The possibility of any one particular sperm fertilizing one particular egg calculates out to one in 800 million, and that's during just one sexual encounter. For example, you are who you are because of a one in a six billion chance from seven generations ago. Think of that. Think about how very, very unique you are. These are your innate (nature) characteristics.

In addition to genetics, the environment plays a large part in who you become over your lifetime. How you were taken care of as a child, your education, friends, foes, play, work, money, health, etc.; all play a big role in who you are. All of these, very important, influences play a big role in who you are. These are called nurture.

Combining nature with nurture gives you almost an infinite number of possibilities for one individual's characteristics.  Who you are is not only unique but a miracle as well. You are a miracle. 

Next:  How we get to truly know ourselves.

Self Observation

Self observation is the key to understanding yourself and that is why practicing mindful meditation is so very important.  Mindful meditation is "simply" the practice of being still and watching thoughts as they come and go; not trying to get rid of thoughts but just watching them. 

Watching the mind and your reactions to your thoughts is a good way to understand how your mind responds to different situations. By knowing how your mind works, you can then get in touch with your self. As you probably know by now, noticing feelings is easy once you get past the chattering mind. Sit and breathe slowly in and out. Simply notice any feelings, thoughts and sensations that may arise.

The longer you pursue your meditation practice, the better you will become at understanding the workings of your mind. Once you've opened up and have become genuine with yourself, you will begin to know who you are by paying attention to any emotion that happens to come up. Let the emotion be felt without resistance and if a thought appears, pay attention to it as well and just let it be. From emotions can come meaning and meaning is what you are after in order to get to know your self; the person you call "I." 

Next, we will take a look at the two factors that determine who you are and why you do what you do.

Observing yourself subjectively

To observe yourself subjectively means to notice, inquire and get in touch with the way your are - to understand why you do what you do - how you see yourself as a human being. This does not mean the way you want to be, imagine yourself to be or should be but rather, who you are in reality. Not many people can do this nor even want to.

To truly know yourself takes looking deep inside and understanding emotions, feelings, beliefs and thoughts. And in order to do that you have to learn how to impartially observe yourself. The process and practice of getting to know your self through self observation is the beginning of self transformation.

To self observe means to get in touch with how you react to different kinds of situations in everyday life. You know how you have reacted to certain situations in the past. When someone asked for help, did you try to help them or did you avoid them? Do you like to attend large gatherings or not? Do you like to be looked at? When someone on a side road wants to get in line in front of your car do you nudge forward or do you let them in? Do you feel annoyed when a baby cries or do you feel as if you should find out what is wrong with the baby? These are everyday occurrences which we all react to one way or another. The way you react can tell you a lot about yourself. Deep down inside we all know our feelings; most of us just haven't taken the time to look closely.

Next - How to observe the self.

Savasana

In the Yoga Sutra, written by Patanjali, there is little mention of doing yoga poses (asana). In fact, there are only three lines dedicated to doing asana. Patanjali suggests using a posture that is steady and comfortable and to focus on being totally relaxed. "Use an asana that is steady and comfortable. Focus your attention on being totally relaxed and you will have freedom from dualities" 2:46-48.

That was some 5,000 years ago. Today there are literally thousands of different asana from which we can choose to incorporate into our yoga practice. Let's begin by looking at the pose suggested by Patanjali - a steady and comfortable pose.

What may be steady and comfortable for one person may not be for another person. So, let's take a pose that most of us might agree on that is steady and comfortable - a supine position (lying on your back).  Savasana  (Shaa-vash-naa) or "corpse pose" is usually done between a series of poses (vinyasa) or as the last pose at the end of a yoga session. Savasana is also sometimes referred to as the resting pose.

Although savasana is a non-moving pose, one where you are lying on your back, is not easy to do because of the mind. Even with all great intentions of not having your mind wander; in a fairly short time it will take on a mind of it's own, hardly without you realizing it. "Oh, I forgot, I need to call Julie right now."  `

There are two things you can do when your thoughts encourage you to get up from savasana: 
  1) Recognize you are having a thought, dismiss it and stay in savasana.
  2) Act on the thought.

The whole idea of savasana is to see through the charade, let the thought go and stay in the pose. This practice gives you power over your thoughts and the more you practice the more powerful you become. The ability to recognize thoughts and decide to act on them or not is a very powerful tool for everyone. Staying connected and in control of your thoughts, your reactions, actions, and emotions improves the power of the Self - the ultimate mind. 

A New Mind

There is no way the thinking mind can perceive reality. It's difficult to go beyond the thinking mind because of the ego. The ego and the self are intertwined and when the mind expands into the universe with a flow of energy, the ego drags it back to the self like a bungee cord.

To go beyond thoughts one must go into the void, between thoughts. The void is the space of reality because it is a space of no thoughts and no ego. Within the space there is silence - a silence free of old way of thinking. It is necessary to go into the silence if you are to experience reality in its truest sense.

The thinking mind always has a question and always wants an answer.  In order to go beyond the conditioned mind you must develop another way of perceiving;  a higher sense you might say. 

The new perception comes from the complete understanding that you know nothing. The mind must be empty of all preconceived ideas, prejudices and desires. The new mind is formed on the void and opens to new perceptions and responses. Brand new pathways are formed in the brain leaving behind material embedded in the old memory. Being free from the past, the new mind is allowed to see beyond the confines of the imprisoned self that cannot go beyond the ego. 

By existing in the void and free from old thinking a new reality emerges. Simply exist in the new reality and relax into it for as long as you like.

The wall of tensions is the wall of my ego.  The impulse to look into the depth of oneself is an indispensable step in the evolution of consciousness.  Nothing is either certain or pure without this.
   - George Gurdjieff -

Deeper into Energy

To tell the truth I didn't know where this post was going when I started it. After the last post and meditating on it for some time, I've come to the conclusion that energy is not a single thing but a multitude of things; electrons, quarks, photons, feelings, vibrations, emotions, thoughts and so on. Looking at all the things that various people say about energy it looks like energy is what makes up the universe or is actually the universe.  

It is like trying to answer the questions - What is God? What happens when we die?  What is infinity? What is the mind? Energy is much greater than our ability to figure out what it is by trying to use the thinking process. Something small cannot understand something larger.  That is why the intellect can never understand what energy is exactly. It is just too large for the mind to understand.

All we can do is relax and enjoy it. 

I'm looking forward to the next blog post.  I wonder what it will be about.  Hmmmm.

The Presence of Energy

George Gurdjieff (1866-1949) was a Russian mystic, philosopher, and yogi that spent many years studying and teaching what has become known as The Fourth Way.  Gurdjieff was obsessed with finding a way to become permanently connected to a higher power or "force" as he often called it.  He said, "A new feeling must appear, the feeling of being. This is a new energy, a conscious force that needs to be present if I am not to be retaken by my automatism." 

Gurdjieff found himself wavering between being "asleep," as he called it, and "awakened," living momentarily with the higher power. This wavering put him on a path to find a way to stay awake and not fall back into the sleeping state of consciousness. His cohort and long-time follower, Jeanne de Salzmann, wrote a book that consisted of her notes while traveling with him over many years throughout Russia and Turkey. In her book The Reality of Being, Gurdjieff is quoted as saying, "It is only in and through the body that energy can act. In order to feel these vibrations, I must come to a real stillness of the body, a state without any tension where the thought is simply a witness."

Once the mind is still, the body will follow. In both qigong and yoga, energy can be felt when both body and mind are quiet. It begins as a tingling in the fingers and progresses into the arms.  If you are really still, very calm and totally aware you might feel the flow of something throughout the whole body. That something might be, could be, energy. In qigong it is called "qi" (che) and in yoga it is called "prana."  

Qi and prana are said to be the ever present and infinite energy of the universe; of which everything, everywhere is composed. But yet, these qigong and yoga practices, like modern-day science, don't say exactly what that energy is. Science refers to it as some kind of subatomic particle and esoteric mystics and philosophers call it a "force." 

Next, we will take a deeper look into this mysterious force called "energy."  Hope to see you on the next post. 

Energy II

When a person talks about energy there is usually a vague sense of what is meant by the word "energy."  For instance, if Sam says, "I feel really low on energy today," and Sally says, "There was a lot of energy on the dance floor last night," are they talking about the same kind of energy?  You could say that Sam is talking about internal energy and Sally is talking about external energy.  Or maybe Sam is talking about potential energy and Sally is talking about kinetic energy. Or, does it really make any difference what kind of energy they are talking about?  

In the last post we talked about energy as it relates to science. In science, energy is considered more of a material thing that can be measured such as gravitational energy, light energy, chemical energy and biological energy. On the other side of the coin there is an esoteric view of energy, where energy is understood to be an entity found everywhere and in every thing and not labeled as anything in particular.

Qigong and yoga are both an art and a science in that they have been studied and practiced over thousands of years and have developed into intellectual skills that take some time to master.  Also, they both deal with energy.  "Qi" is Chinese for energy and in yoga the word "prana" refers to a life force that surrounds and permeates all things both animate and inanimate. In the Western world prana is, more or less, understood to mean "life force." 

More to follow.

Energy

In the scientific world, energy is considered to be made up of subatomic particles - electrons, photons, and so on. These subatomic particles are said to be in constant motion and are seen, measured, and felt as material particles. 

In the science of biology, energy is considered to be electrons stored up mainly inside mitochondria, small organelles inside cells. Potentially, electrons are attached to various atoms and those atoms are attached to other atoms forming molecules such as water, oxygen, carbon dioxide, glucose, and so on. When these various molecules break apart, due to enzyme interactions, the electrons are set free and move as kinetic energy as in chemical reactions. These freely moving electrons are what produce heat, movement and also help build other molecules such as tissues (bone, muscle, tendons, etc.), enzymes, hormones, and life itself.  

In the field of physics, energy is defined as the ability to do work, which doesn't say a lot about what it actually is. Energy is considered to be a property of matter, space, objects and fields and cannot be created or destroyed.  Energy has something to do with gravity, electromagnetism, and electricity. Electricity is said to be the movement of electrons as in lightening and their movement trough wires.

In chemistry as in biology, energy is seen as moving electrons. When molecules, which are made up of atoms, break apart, electrons are set free and produce movement, heat, light and so on. All 118 elements (atoms) on the periodic table are depicted as having a nucleus, made up of neutrons and protons, orbited by electrons. The bigger the nucleus the more the atom weighs. Hydrogen having only one proton and one electron is the lightest and oganesson, a synthetic atom, the heaviest with 118 protons.

So, the common denominator in modern science, as far as energy goes, has to do with electrons. This, we might say, is the materialistic point of view, which is okay, but doesn't reach down deep enough into the aspect of exactly what energy is.

Let's leave modern science and go into the more esoteric fields of  qigong, yoga and tai chi and see what they say about energy.  Hope to see you in the next post.

Energy; what is it anyway?

Sometimes I'm full of energy and feel like I can run and jump forever and then there are times when I am so tired and have no energy.  What's up with that?  Where does this energy come from and where does it go? I wonder. Does it come from the food I eat, the air I breathe, or from somewhere else?  I wonder. 

Labeling the amount of energy we have from 0 to 10 we might say sometimes we are at a level of 10 and other times almost zero.  Energy, energy! It is such a strange thing, a phenomenon you might say.

Energy can be classified as inert, potential, kinetic, electrical, light, and on and on but the names don't say anything about what it is, really. 

I want to look deeper into this strange thing we call energy - deeper, much deeper. Come with me, if you will, and let's explore what it is and how we can get more of it.

In the next blog we will delve deeper into this phenomenon called ENERGY.

Cosmic Consciousness

We left off on the last post with using our imagination to view infinite smallness and infinite largeness. We did that by looking at them separately; one and then the other, but if you can imagine infinite smallness and infinite largeness at the same time, you are experiencing cosmic consciousness. 

Cosmic consciousness is the feeling and the realization that everything within you and outside of you is infinite. Your mental imaging can link you with the cosmic mind beyond space and time and allow you to experience something that five senses can never do.

As I practice cosmic consciousness I experience my mind expanding more and more into awakening to the universe.

Cosmic Consciousness

In my way of thinking, imagination is a good thing.  You don't have to agree, but stay with me for a little bit and let me show you the power of imagination.

Try using your imagination to view the vast universe in which you live as being not only outside your body but inside it as well. The ability to do this is called cosmic consciousness. Begin by focusing on the back of your hand and imagine one skin cell. Inside the skin cell is liquid plasma and a membrane-bound nucleus. Are you still with me?  Okay, let's go a little further.

Go inside the nucleus and there lay rope-like chromosomes; within the chromosomes are molecules of DNA that look like strands of coiled beads. Take one of those beads and imagine going inside it. Inside the bead are atoms that resemble miniature solar systems. You can see a nucleus with electrons orbiting around the nucleus. Inside the nucleus are protons and neutrons. Focus deeply on one neutron and go deep into it. See that it is made up of even smaller particles and they in turn are made up even smaller particles and on and on into smaller and smaller particles continuing indefinitely, never ending, smaller and smaller.

Wow!  That's what the imagination can do.  It is fantastic!  Let's keep going on and see where this ends.

Come back and look at your hand for a while. Now, look around the room and then look out a window or go outside and look up at the sky. Imagine going beyond the moon and sun, out into space and beyond the stars. Keep going beyond the stars into black empty space one hundred billion light years away - on and on. 

Continue going further and further out into the universe.  There is no end. The universe is infinite just like going down deeper and deeper into smallness of your hand.

We will continue with this magnificent imagination on the next post.

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View Mind as an Object - continued from last post

As suggested from the last post, if you were able to view your thoughts for three minutes or more you are above average.  The average person cannot watch his/her thoughts for more than two minutes without giving up. 

The brain is built to think and it does a very good job of it.  Sometimes too good of a job to the extent that it becomes over active causing all kinds of problems. 

So, it's important for all kinds of mental and physical reasons to practice quieting the mind by simply observing it. As time goes on, with practice, you can increase your time observing thoughts and with that your mental and physical well-being.  

Good luck and I wish you success in your practice.

View the Mind as an Object

The mind is what divides humans into different "I's" which are not connected with one another and they usually never meet.  One "I" knows one thing, another "I" knows something else, a third "I" yet another, and so on. Since they never meet, their knowledge cannot be brought together into any kind of meaningful way. This is the normal state of the average human.

I am a teacher for awhile, a student, a father, a husband, a friend, a painter and so on. I play different parts depending on the situation. When I am not playing any part, who am I? All of the "I's" that I play in everyday life disappear and then I become no one in particular. I become just me.

When you are just you, you may feel bored, irritated, tired or maybe even a little confused. This is the perfect time to become a scientist and view the mind. When you are playing parts you don't have time to be a scientist of the mind. Prepare yourself; take a warm bath, put on some comfortable clothes and relax. 

Sit in a comfortable chair and close your eyes. Breathe slowly in and out and allow your mind to wander and do whatever it wants to do. Don't try to control it, just let it do whatever it wants to do and simply observe it as though you are disconnected from the thoughts.

More to follow on the next post.

Continuing on from last post - What is the Mind?

Scientists use objectivity and not subjectivity to analyze nature. That is why they use double-blind studies. Scientists look at nature (the object), form a question and then an hypothesis, do an experiment, collect data, and come to a conclusion.  Judges at a beauty pageant, on the other hand, don't use objectivity. Each judge forms his/her own evaluation on each contestant based on the judge's values of what constitutes beauty. If they were to use objectivity in the beauty contest they would, for example, take into account each contestant's height, weight, bust size, waist and hip measurements, number of skin blemishes and so on. 

Usually in objective evaluations precise measurements are required. In both objective and subjective evaluations there has to be an object. If there is no object it is almost impossible to have any type of evaluation. The mind is an object in that it can be emotionally felt and seen as thoughts. When a person says that he is having a hard time making up his mind, what does he mean? Is he stupid for saying that about something that can't be seen or measured?  No.  He says it because the mind does exist. When a person says that he cannot wrap his mind around the idea of infinity is he out of his mind?  No.  He actually can't wrap his mind around the idea.

So, how do we separate ourselves from the mind and view it as an object?  That is the subject of my next post. 

What is the mind?

For someone to experience their mind they would have to do it subjectively. There is no way one can do it objectively. This is the beauty of the question and the beauty of the experience. It is strictly a personal experience, one that can be expressed verbally and in writing. However, it isn't easy because it requires the person to view his own mind. It requires the person to separate himself from his mind and view it as an object.

It is very important to understand that, although the mind cannot be seen, it can be experienced. Many people get caught up in the idea that material things are the only way to experience life. Material things are fine but not the final answer to what is reality. Light, gravity and sound are not material yet they are definitely real and can be experienced just like the mind.

To be continued on next post -

Are you conscious?

If you take a look at Gurdjieff and Ouspensky's definitions of consciousness as well as many other philosophers and psychologists's definitions you might come away a little confused.  The battle for a good definition, or better yet an example of consciousness, continues to this day. By looking at various definitions and examples I came up with the following: 

There are five levels of consciousness:

     1. Waking sleep - physically doing something while thinking of something else.  Dangerous situation.
     2. Absorption - deeply engrossed in something (reading, sewing, painting, etc.) and not aware of the surroundings. Dangerous situation.
     3. Attention - Narrowly noticing what is happening in the moment.  A little bit better.
     4. Awareness - Knowing what you are doing and what is going on around you.  A whole lot better.
     5. Pure Awareness - awareness plus in touch with the Absolute.
The best.
    For more about this subject go to 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCLfsD-dBVs&t=37s

The Purpose of Life

"What is the purpose of life?"  I had a student ask me that question in a biology class many years ago.  For some reason I didn't hesitate and blurted out, "To enjoy it."  At the time it struck me kind of odd as to what I said.  

Previously, on several occasions, the question entered my mind but I had never came up with an answer.  Like many people, I suppose, I tried to come up with answers, more or less, philosophical like, "There is no purpose in life; it just is" or "The purpose of life is to help people."  

I don't remember who the student was but I'm fully grateful for his question and fully grateful for what I said, because now I really and truly believe the purpose of life is to literally enjoy it.

Thank you student whomever you are.

My True Nature

When I have a sense of awareness of my body and my thoughts it seems to prevent me from becoming conscious of my true nature. True nature is spoken of by Gurdjieff and Mooji as the silent and unchanging isness that exists in all of us. 

I know that my true nature, unlike my body and mind is not temporary. My body and thoughts are always changing but not my true nature. My true nature is beyond consciousness; it is not consciousness, but more like a knowing of permanent existence. 

So, I sat down and simply put all of my focus on the inside of my body; in the middle of my chest where some people call the "heart center." In a few minutes or so, it was as though that area of my body was expanding. The space kept getting bigger and bigger - that's the best way I can describe it. 

It was as though my being was becoming the universe. It sounds absurd but that's how it was. And there were no thoughts; just a feeling of completeness and serenity. Each time I do this, the same thing happens. And the good thing is, it's not difficult to do. 

So, I guess this is what Gurdjieff and Mooji meant by our "true nature" or "isness."

Recognizing the Ego

When you are able to recognize the ego as simply an attachment to your values and feelings, you can transcend it. To transcend the ego doesn't mean to get rid of it - it means to see it for what it is, an illusion, a manifestation of the mind. This is why knowing the self is so important. The technique of being able to observe yourself while talking, listening, and so on is one of the best ways to self observe. The knowledge of one's own identity releases the ego from the self. 

Your ability to recognize the ego for what it actually is depends upon how far you are willing to go in developing awareness.

I recently had an experience of this very thing.  I want to share it with you on my next post.

Me. Mine and I

Looking back at the last post there were quite a few "Me's" and "My's" and even one or two "I's."  That's so easy to do when writing and even talking. We love to talk about ourselves don't we. Well, anyway, it seems as though I do.

It's so easy to get carried away with the first-person pronoun as though it is the most important subject in a conversation. We tend to think that people want to hear about us.  In reality people don't want to hear all that much about us. They would rather hear about them and how much we like them and care about them.

While carrying on a conversation with someone, if you tell them they look nice today they would probably feel pretty good.  And then they might even return the compliment.

The whole idea of enlightenment is to realize that we are all in this thing called life together. The universe, the cosmos, the All or whatever you want to call it.  It is so vast and may even be infinite. It extends into us, through us, and beyond us. It is what brings us all together into one unlimited field. It is impossible to give it a name because it is beyond our understanding and even our imagination.

Oneness is like a body made up of trillions and trillions of cells. Each cell has its own function, identity, and purpose but yet it could not survive outside the body because it needs the energy, nourishment and connectedness to other cells in order to fulfill the healthy function of the whole body. So it is with humans and other beings. We are not the function of one body but all bodies, all beings everywhere.
                                                         - to be continued -

Who is the "I" I wonder.

The sense and awareness of my body and my thoughts prevent me from becoming conscious of my true nature. My true nature, unlike the body and mind is not temporary. My body and thoughts are always changing but not my true nature. My true nature is beyond consciousness; it is not consciousness, but a more silent and unchanging isness, so to speak.  

The isness, I speak of, is outside of me as well as inside of me it seems. 

Turn your negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones

Turn your negative thoughts and emotions into positive ones by following the four steps that have been outlined below. 

Just a few last words before going on to the next vital post.  Don't try to over analyze what your mind is telling you, because it will only make things worse. Once you become aware that you are having deceptive brain messages you have succeeded with step one. Then go on to step two immediately.

If you over analyze the deceptive brain messages it will hard wire your brain's system and reinforce the path toward more deceptive brain messages. Label the negative thoughts (deceptive brain messages), do something constructive, and then listen to your Wise Advocate.

The negative feelings and emotions may still be there but accept them for what they are - false messages with no real meaning. Accept that these feelings are not who you truly are. Without this acceptance, you will be stuck in a futile and endless loop, trying to make the negative thoughts go away, rather than charting a new course for yourself.

Stay the course.

The Wise Advocate

Negative thinking and negative emotions over an extended period of time can play havoc with the body's entire systems. Illnesses can occur due to the build up of stress hormones that perpetuate themselves throughout the entire nervous, cardiovascular, skeletal, digestive, muscular, endocrine, lymphatic, respiratory and reproductive systems.

Focusing on deceptive brain messages without awareness will only get you into trouble. Awareness is the gateway to seeing the fallacy of the negative thoughts and to making new, healthy connections in the brain.

Trying to get rid of negative thinking by thinking of something else doesn't work, it only buries them in the body where they unconsciously fester and grow into monsters. We must deal with them by being totally aware of them, acknowledging them and accept them for what they are; negative thoughts.

As mentioned in the previous post there are four steps that work very well when dealing with negative thoughts. They are: 1) recognize them, 2) label them, 3) do something constructive and 4) develop a Wise Advocate.  We talked about the first three, now we need to to talk about the fourth step of developing a Wise Advocate.

A Wise Advocate is someone or something that you admire as strong, wise and friendly.  It might be someone like your mother, grandmother, teacher or close friend. It may be Jesus, Buddha, Brahman or God.  Choose your Wise Advocate and when the deceptive negative thoughts occur, and you want to act on them, call on your Wise Advocate and have them talk to you.  Your Wise Advocate may say things like - "I see you are having negative thoughts again.  Are you sure what you are about to do is the wisest thing ?  You know it is just a negative thought don't you? It might be better to wait this thing out and see if there aren't better answers to this situation."

You will get better by accepting that the feelings will still be there but that is a false message with no real meaning. Accept that these thoughts and feelings are not who you truly are. Without this kind of acceptance, you will be stuck in a futile and endless loop, trying to make the negative thoughts go away, rather than charting a new course for yourself based on your true goals and values.

More vital information on the next post.  Have a wonderful day.

Negative emotions cause all kinds of problems for us all.  They cause problems for the person having the emotion and usually for people nearby such as a spouse, friend, relative and so on. The first thing we must do when negative emotions arise is to be able to recognize that we are having a negative emotions.

You may ask; what is a negative emotion? A negative emotion is a thought or a thought process that feeds on itself and makes the thinker act in a negative way. The negative reaction might be internal such as heart beating rapidly, sweating, temperature rising, anger swelling up inside and so on.  Or the negative reaction could be external resulting in harm to one's self or someone else.

According to the book You Are Not Your Brain by Jeffrey Schwaertz, M.D. and Rebecca Gladding, M.D., a good way to overcome negative emotions to follow four steps.  The first step is to recognize you are having a negative thought. That may sound simple but in most cases when negative thoughts arise we get caught up in the thought and the emotions that we think it is the truth and we must do something about it immediately or it will get out of hand. The trick is to back off, as it were, and observe the fact that you are having a negative thought.

The ability to recognize yourself having a negative thought takes practice - practice through meditation, just sitting and focusing on your breathing and noticing thoughts as the come and go. With practice you will eventually be able to observe yourself having negative thoughts. This is the first and foremost step.

The second step is to give the negative thought a label.  What is the thought?  If you are thinking about what is going to happen in the future it is a"fortune telling" thought. If it is a thought that leads to another thought about something that can get worse and another thought as to how things can get even more worse than it is a "catastrophizing" thought.  If the thought is one that says you should do something then it is a "should" thought. "I should do this and I should do that."  Or, "He should be more kind to me or she should not be late all the time."  Should, should, should. As the old saying goes; don't should on yourself so much.

The third step is do something worthwhile that involves some kind of physical activity like walking, biking, yoga, etc. The body and the mind are inexorably linked.  When the body gets moving the mind automatically focuses on the body to some degree or another; it has to.  This helps take the pressure off negative thinking.

The fourth step is to develop a "Wise Advocate."  This is the subject on the next blog.  Stay tuned. 

When I wear a shirt or some other garment with the OM symbol

I invariably have someone ask me what it means.

The symbol is a Sanskrit term and it is said to be the essence of speech. The sound of OM or AUM is said to be the sound of the universe and when sung is composed of three syllagles combined into one.
"Aaaoooummm."

 The symbol consists of three curves, one semicircle, and a dot. The three curves represent the three stages of consciousness; the lower curve is awake, the upper curve is deep sleep, and the tail-like curve represents dreaming sleep.  It is said that these are the three states of consciousness.

The semicircle above the consciousness curves represents maya  (illusion). In other words, the three states of consciousness are merely an illusion. The dot above maya represents God or the Absolute.  So, when you get rid of the illusion (maya) that you are consciousness you become one with God. This union is achieved through the practice of yoga.

Err on the side of caution.

One of my yoga students has glaucoma in one eye. He went to the doctor and they gave him eye drops and his eye pressure drastically went down and a blood vessel exploded and filled the eyeball with blood.  Right now he is "temporarily" blind in that eye.  He asked if I thought it might help if he were to apply a warm, wet towel on the eye.  I told him that he should ask his doctor about that.

As yoga teachers we should know our limitations when it comes to therapeutic practices and recommendations. As you probably know, there are different levels of knowledge and skill when it comes to yoga teaching.  Yoga Alliance ( https://www.yogaalliance.org/ ) has various levels of registered yoga teacher (RYT) such as RYT-200, RYT-500, ERYT-200, and so on.  They even have a registered therapy yoga teacher. Even if you are a therapy yoga teacher there are limitations in what you should do as far helping students.

If it is beyond your knowledge it is best to always err on the side of caution and recommend they go see a specialist.  Never let your ego get in the way of good judgement.  That's my recommendation.

I have neglected posting here for quite some time and I am sorry.  I have been busy teaching and working with disabled people for a few years but am now back and ready to start talking about pure awareness again.

I hope you have been working with meditation and practicing staying in the moment, for those are the primary steps for getting to the higher state of consciousness of pure awareness. It is very difficult for most of us to stay in the moment, even for a few minutes, due to distractions and the like. That is where meditation comes in.

Meditation encourages the mind and even the body to relax into the state of awareness.  Awareness is the fourth level of consciousness.  If you remember, the five states of consciousness are: 1) waking sleep, 2) absorption, 3) attention, 4) awareness and 5) pure awareness.

Being aware while meditating means that both the mind and body are in complete awareness.  In other words, the mind is not thinking about the past or the future and the body is relaxed.  The body may be itching or aching here and there but the mind is fully aware of those sensations and the body may make adjustments to ease those feelings. Also, the mind as well as the body may have emotions but they are here, right now, in the moment.

So, continue on with your meditation and please keep in touch.  I will be posting more in the near future.

Namaste'
Neil Crenshaw